Under Bumble rules, once I swipe right and if they have previously swiped right themselves, we immediately match
This number of potential matches is in a circle with a blurred photo behind it. After a while, I realized this blurred photo is the profile photo of one of the people who has swiped right to you. which is where this blogpost is leading. This isn’t “Bird Box,” I’m not blind, and I can match blurred shadows with people’s profiles to realize who has swiped to me.
The woman then has 24 hours to message me: she must initiate the convo. Then I have another 24 hours to respond. (If I swipe right and she hasn’t previously swiped right or, Gabriel forbid, she swiped left, I’ll never know – until she swipes right in the future and we magically match.)
? The general consensus seemed to be swipe left if you’re not that close or swipe right if you think you’d match “as a joke.” Indeed, Sara and I once matched on Tinder and made hang out plans by texting via the app. Such innocent days, amirite? Oh, and if you actually like your friend on the app – maybe consider addressing that in person and not by swipe?
Once or twice I matched with someone who I sorta knew, but not well enough that I should’ve swiped right, and then we never messaged. My big epiphany was that I’d never made a move otherwise toward these people; I just wanted to see how they felt late one Thursday while on Hinge and that justified nothing. I still didn’t feel like making an actual move- but my esteem felt validated as should theirs!
A week later, a similar scenario played out on Bumble proving this was not a one-time problem
Which brings us to this fall. While swiping, “Chloe” appeared on my Bumble screen. I immediately recognized Chloe – we had met in the spring at an influencer event, she was a friend of a friend, and she had followed me on Instagram ever since. We hadn’t really communicated other than random likes, and I thought she was about four years older than the age on her profile and married, but apparently not?? What do I do? She was cute? I did think we’d get along?
Over the next several days, however, her profile kept reappearing, and I had to keep closing the app, or it would still be there when I opened the app again so I just couldn’t swipe. This made me definitely suspicious she had swiped right to me – why else would the app be so insistent? – and I confirmed this when I realized the blurred photo in my potential matches matched the brown hair and red dress in Chloe’s top profile photo.
Should I swipe right? On a rainy Thursday, I decided to bite the bullet. Right. With no fanfare, we instantly matched. Wow! I wondered if she’d address our Instagram friendship in her initial message.
I wondered if I should reach out on Instagram: “Hey haha I saw you on Bumble the other day. Weird, right? It’s even weirder we matched. Should we get coffee? Should we forget this happened? Should we unfollow each other? But you think I’m hot, right? That’s all I’m really seeking here.”
Because I’m a provocateur, I responded to one of her Instagram stories a week later. I forgot about it until she replied to an Instagram story of mine days after – with a full message. Were we flirting.
In the early days of online dating – think 2013 into 2014 – I remember the hypothetical often came up: what do you do if you see your friend on Tinder et al
“Cole” popped up as a potential match. I had a minor crush on Cole all through college. I remember first interacting with her when she was a cashier at the Chick-Fil-A at my undergrad (“Can I get a #1 and your number normaalit Makedonian naiset?”), but she was older and in a different friend group (all dumb excuses). We were also friends on Facebook, but she never appeared in my feed and I thought she even lived out of the area. I checked Facebook before proceeding. Nope, she had moved to Richmond. Interesting. Do I swipe right?
